Author: Eoin McCall

Grand National Preview

“My Lovely, Lovely, Lovely horse running through the fields, where are you going with your fetlocks blowing in the wind? I want to shower you with sugar lumps, and ride you over fences. Polish your hooves every single day, and bring you to the horse dentist. My Lovely Lovely, Lovely, Lovely Horse, you’re a pony no more.”  One of the many jewels of the sporting calendar, The Grand National, takes place tomorrow at Aintree, Liverpool. With forty runners and thirty fences, it would be easier to pick the lottery numbers than accurately predict the race. However, having said that, here...

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Why Jim Halpert Represents Everything Wrong In The World

Jim Halpert from the hit US version of ‘The Office’ is everyone’s ideal person, right? Lovely Jim, what a great guy. As the best account on Twitter @Dril famously described “the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: ‘there’s actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbicile. you f**king moron.” Except the difference in this case is James Halpert. He’s a representation of everything bad in our god forsaken civilisation. My eyes too were closed to how bad he was, before being opened by this tweet, and then half-closed again in a cynical glare. The opening few...

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Derby Delight for Van Dijk

“Oh it’s a terrible time for being a blue, on cup final day with nothing to do, oh Everton we’re all laughing at you”. Everton’s commitment to self parody is something to be admired. They’ll have a good go, but somehow they’ll manage to ruin it for themselves and send their fans home sad, again. On Friday Night, they visited their biggest rivals searching their first victory at Anfield this century, and trying to end a 23 year trophy drought. The first 35 minutes of the game, was similar to what Real Madrid legend Jorge Valdano described over a...

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Brexit and the Border

It was the morning of the 24th of June 2016. I’m lying in the bed of my AirBnb in Lyon. The day previous had been the day UK citizens went to the polls over their membership of the EU. The result seemed like it would be a fait accompli. It’s about 6am in the morning when I wake up and check my phone. “F*ck me, the Brits have voted out” I announce. “Haha, Tiocfaidh ár lá” comes the response from my mate lying next to me in the bed. Brexit is a gift horse in the pursuit of Irish reunification. The...

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Getting Pasta Lazy Attitude To Cooking

The Irish race has a strange fascination with the art of the great, epic, heroic failure. We’ll give it a bloody good go, but some strange circumstance beyond our control will invariably ruin it for everyone. See Thierry Henry’s handball denying us a place in the World Cup in 2009, see the Celtic Tiger blowing up in our faces, see the lads of 1916 for example. It was with an air of foreboding that I approached my first attempt at making an actual meal for myself. 20 years of age, I have been living away for home for the past...

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